Sunday, May 21, 2017

foolishness












the world is foolishness
with what we all cherish.
the whims and desires
the lusts and fires.

social needs and communication
a sensual conflagration
of foolishness exhibition
and narcissistic ambition.

i want to get off this ride
and destroy all that is me.
i want to let your spirit take over
and my foolish spirit subside.


Thursday, February 16, 2017

Forgive












would you forgive me?
if so, please let me know
an answer, a hello.
i did not want to run away

the sun is shining over the clouds
the light reflecting.
i did not want to go.
it was a choice i could not ignore.

i will come back
if you will let me, lord
this world is hurtful
and people do not care

please say you will take me back
let me know tomorrow
i will be waiting for a sign
so i can come back to you.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

An Anthem of Reality











we held onto things we could never keep
while life moved on we lived a lie
i thought that it could be done.
reality is not pretty or the fairy tale end.

so know the end in sight
the lives we shattered.
i held onto slipping sand
and life is never kind to us

so i hope you know
i never meant for this to end
but sometimes life is not how we think it should be
i am sorry for the bitterness and tears.

i know that its over
i can never go back to how it was
you know, the times were lovely
but now the evening in my life is here.


Friday, February 10, 2017

I don't care anymore













i dont care anymore.
about your feelings or what you think.
i dont care anymore
about anything.

i am numb to the pain.
i do not think it is worth the risk.
self preservation at all costs
suicide prevention hotline.

i dont care anymore
about what it was and what will it be
i feel nothing but this empty heart
where once there was a spark.

so if you see me passing by
dont say a word
dont even want you to know i exist
i want to fade into the background.

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Death
















To know
Today is your last day, on this Earth
What would you do?
Would you weep and cry, or thank God for the years.

This life is short
Our time as friends has ended.
In this life, but so much more in the world to come.
I hope to see you there.

Tonight I must go.
Far away to a world unknown to our eyes
As Darkness falls and my eyes close.
I know that somewhere you really do care.
And you will forgive me for running away.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Looking Back On All Of This --Glisten



I have been listening to a lot of Christian music lately.  The music that is heard on most Christian music stations are pretty bland and stagnant to me. There isn't any life, any pain, any reality that living this life and being a Christian really is.

This life is hard. It is sorrowful and painful, joyful and sad.  This week has been a very hard week for me in many ways. It also has been a very good week in some respects as well.

Which brings me to this wonderful Christian group from Texas, Glisten. This album, Looking Back On All Of This reflects in many ways the Christian life. The struggles and the pain, the happiness of living for Christ and the hardships (of which we know little of in America) of suffering for His Sake.

This is a great album, honest and beautiful, the lyrics are real and deep.

The last song on the album brings to mind a loss this week for me for which I know that I will never understand.  I don't know why God allowed this time to pass and then to come to an end. I hope and pray that healing will happen in my life and those that only can know the pain I feel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcGtherqvGw

Hang On- By Glisten

Looking back on all of this
Under the Tree of Life, on the Streets of Gold
Maybe you'll be there, too.

Without time to press our lips
We could talk for a while
And smile at the time, its all around

If we could run for a little while
If we could run to the end
If we could hang on just a little while
We'll make it there

Hanging on by a thread
Hands numb from the pain, a short time remains
Til we're there
If we could run for a little while
If we could run to the end

If we could hang on just a little while
We'll make it there
We'll make it there.
My friend......


I hope you know this was written for you, my friend.




Thursday, January 19, 2017

Foolishness


















It's foolishness to believe in friends.
In my mind it had to be more.
More than a text or a picture sent.
A smiley face and a good intent.

No one knows the sorrow
Looking for love and not finding
The worthlessness of this life and the despair
Evenings alone waiting for a prayer to be answered.

I know now that friends are not to be found.
At least what I thought that they should be.
Someone willing to die for you, to go the extra mile.
Its never to be found on this Earth.

I used to think life was simple and easy.
Nothing to think about and do.
Now there is nothing to live for and loss is my only friend.
I am waiting patiently for the end.